Bring it on Baby!

Yesterday was National Signing Day. For those of you who don't have any inkling as to what happens in the world of high school and college athletics, NSD is the day when all the athletes who have committed to participate in collegiate level sports, sign their letters of intent (LOI), officially committing them to a particular school. My son, Demi, had committed to play his college football at University of South Florida (USF) back in June of 2008. I am so proud of how he went about making the decision, then contacting all the other coaches who had offered him a scholarship, notifying them that he would be going to USF. Many kids commit early just to secure a scholarship, then continue to seek 'better' options elsewhere, so that on NSD they spring a surprise on the school they originally committed to, by reneging on their committment and signing their LOI with another college. We are very blessed to have our son's college education paid for in full, and we are in no doubt about the fact that his college experience will be unique amd memorable. In the inimitable words of some beleaguered hip hop star... bring it on baby!!! I'm attaching a few photos of Demi on NSD.

Today is a special day!!!

Today is a really special day! I’m sure you can think of lots of reasons why it’s special, but for me it’s special because my son, Demi, turns eighteen today. Why is that so earth shattering? Well you’re probably asking that question because it’s been so long since you turned eighteen that you’ve forgotten what it means. Today Demi is eligible to vote. That means he can add his voice to the conversation on who sits in the White House. Today Demi is a legal adult according to the laws of the United States of America. That means that he is fully responsible for his choices, good and bad. I don’t know whether to be thrilled or panicked at that idea, but whatever I may be feeling, that truth is not contestable.

In light of the foregoing thoughts, I’ve been asking myself (and speaking in church about this big idea of equipping the next generation of leaders), whether Sola and I have equipped Demi adequately for adulthood and the responsibilities that come with the ability to make so many independent choices. I mean, he doesn’t need our permission or signature to get a credit card. He can watch whatever movies he wants to whether or not we endorse them, and he can hang out with girls as late as he wants, in the very daunting and different world of the college environment. With all of these questions rolling around my head, I wrote Demi a letter highlighting the value of certain non-negotiables that would adequately equip him to function more effectively in this new world of independent choices and greater responsibility.

Here, in no particular order of importance (other than the first two) are the eighteen non-negotiables we’ve taught him over the years:

• Maintain a passionate, transparent, and authentic relationship with God
• Pray often, even when you don’t feel like it
• Remember that neither life nor anyone owes you anything
• Respect others regardless of their perceived social standing
• Time is your most valued possession, so use it wisely
• Don’t spend everything you earn, save for the unexpected
• Lead by example. Your life speaks louder than your words
• Don’t live like a hypocrite by saying one thing and doing another. Let your word be your bond
• Be humble
• Take personal responsibility for your choices and exercise personal discipline
• Always be encouraging and complimentary to others
• Remember that you don’t have to have an opinion about everything
• Don’t procrastinate. Don’t put off till later what can be done now
• Never lose sight of the goals you’ve set
• Go out of your way to do something good for at least one person every day
• Always remember that, no matter how bad things may appear, there’s always someone worse off than you
• Don’t make excuses, make good choices
• Enjoy life; you only get to live it once.

So, what other words of wisdom can you add to the list for my ‘getting-ready-to-take-on-the-world-son’?

One Incredible Journey!

It's truly amazing how quickly time goes by when you're living life to the fullest. The last three years have been an amazing season for my family and I. We've 'fallen' deeper in love with Central Florida and the people we are called to serve. We've, surprisingly, developed somewhat of an aversion to really cold weather, and have practically become Florida natives as we've discovered all the treasures Orlando has to offer. While The Well has been a large part of our lives over the past three years, watching our kids grow, adjust, and then fall in love with this region has given us the greatest joy. My girls are blossoming and thriving as they build new relationships, adapt to new schools and 'spread their wings' as they discover their likes and dislikes.

My daughter Bimi is an avid writer and her skills never cease to amaze me. She writes 10 years beyond her age (she's fifteen), and has such a way with words that she puts her dad's writing skills to shame. She also fancies herself as somewhat of a budding music star and has dreams of living in her blue mansion paid for from all the money she'll make from her recording contracts (it used to be a blue and pink mansion when she was planning on living with her then best friend. Apparently they never accounted for getting married and considering their husband's preferences too). Temi is both the athletic and academic one. She is so book smart that a single B on her report card can send her into a 'tailspin' of misery. She's been invited into the TAG program at her school and she's currently committed to pursuing music and a soccer career.

My son, Demi is in his final few months of high school (I'm still finding that hard to believe) and he has committed to the University of South Florida where he will be playing his college football. Today marks a special day for him in the process of his football evolution as he plays in his final high school football game. He was selected to the Central Florida All-Star game, and is actually going to be one of two starting defensive ends on his team. I am ovewhelmed with memories as I anticipate watching my 'young man' playing in his final high school football game tonight. Sometimes life seems to fly by way too fast, while at other times it appears interminably slow. Whatever the case is with your life, sometimes, if we don't slow down and savor the 'scenery' we might miss out on the best things life has to offer. I am truly thankful to be blessed with such incredible kids, and with the opportunity to watch them chase their dreams. What exciting things are happening in your life?

Contented!!!

I'm resting today! It's been a packed but amazing extended weekend. I spent Thursday and Friday nights in a little village in Wales called Penegroes. It has the most verdant, rolling hills you've ever seen, and looks like it was taken right out of a picture postcard... wait a minute, this is the photograph they put on picture postcards when they're trying to entice you to visit Wales with all of its mystery and exotic history. On Saturday I rode the train for seven hours back to London (no one was 'trapped' on the train this time), where I went directly to the gym with my brother and his buddy. My brother made sure that I paid for blogging about his 'unplanned trip' by putting me through the most rigorous workout routine. I'm still feeling intense pain with every keystroke. I collapsed into bed on Saturday night only to wake up early and leave home at 7.30am for the Sunday services I was preaching at.

Yes, it wasn't a typo, I did say services. I spoke at 4 services yesterday. I spoke at an 8.30am, 10.30am and 12.30am service. Then I did some counseling and then spoke at the 6.00pm service. I got home at about 9.30pm last night, and it was all I could do to get out of my clothes and crawl into bed completely exhausted but totally fulfilled. I love what I do! I love and enjoy the privilege of speaking into people's lives and watching the 'light come on' as something clicks into place for them. I've thoroughly enjoyed this time in the UK. Sadly however, my youngest sister, who lives in Nigeria, flew into the UK today with her two kids and my younger brother's son, but I don't get to see them (though I did get to speak with them on the phone). They are heading straight to Wales while I'm firmly esconced in London as I fly back home tomorrow morning.

I am truly grateful for family. Seeing, and speaking with so many members of my extended family over the last week has really brought into focus what is value to me. I enjoy ministry. I enjoy hanging out with friends. I enjoy traveling. I enjoy getting new clothes, shoes, and other gifts. But I truly cherish family, speaking of which, I can hardly wait to see my wife and kids tomorrow. I wonder if I go to bed early tonight I can make tomorrow come sooner?

You've still got it and...

It's a particularly special day for me today since it's my wife Sola's birthday. You might wonder what the fuss is all about, but for me it represents just one more opportunity to express (in a more special way) how precious she is to me. In this day and age where marriages hardly last any real length of time, being married to the same woman for 20 years and watching her grow and come into her own, while remaining as beautiful as she was the day I married her, gives me a particularly warm and fuzzy feeling. She is my best friend, my confidante, my sounding board (she even lets me 'barf up my stuff' on her occasionally), and my greatest inspiration for wanting to accomplish God's larger purpose for my life. I know, I know, you're wishing you had a friend like her especially in a generation where too many 'friendships' seem filled with a pervasive mephitic stench. What can I say? We can't all have a Sola so you'll just have to live vicariously through me. So today, I get to brag on my "Babes" as I say HAPPYYYYYY BIRTHDAY!!! If you'd like to brag on her too, drop her a line here wishing her a happy birthday.

See you at the movies

We have had the most amazing time over the last few weeks as we have listened to great speakers share their One Prayer for the church. One of my personal favorites was Greg Surratt's message titled "Lord Make us Obedient." Sadly, as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end and this series comes to an end for us this Sunday (we began on June 1 and will conclude the series on June 29).

So what's next you ask? I'm glad you asked because I was planning to tell you anyway. We have found that the summer months are an extremely transient time for churches. Lots of people are traveling, visiting extended family, or generally doing things other than church on Sundays. Many churches have come to accept what has 'affectionately' been dubbed the "summer slump" but we, in our hard-headedness, continue to kick against the status quo and look for creative ways to bring in newcomers during these down months.

Every year since inception (that's only two years actually) we have held a series titled "See you at the movies". In this series, we ask for people to suggest movies that they think hold a subtle moral or spiritual message (not overtly Christian movies). We show clips of the selected movies and then discuss the spiritual message in an open-mike format. These have traditionally been incredibly popular and successful. This year we are adding a new twist: we are providing popcorn and water (we've got to keep it healthy) during service so that you can munch on popcorn while watching the movie clips. This is where you come in. We need you to suggest possible movie titles that we might watch. Tell us what you perceive the moral or spiritual message to be, and whatever you do, make sure it's a movie that's already out on DVD so that we can show it and discuss it. Thanks for your input. If you don't want to leave a message here, then go here.

Kids really Can...!?!

Our very effective and incredibly fun children's ministry is called Kids Can. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then need I say more?

La Familia

Isn't it amazing how some of the most profound epiphanies come out of incongruous moments. I thoroughly enjoyed the responses to my blog post yesterday, and gained significant insight into something that I'd suspected for so long. Are you ready for this profound revelation? Here it is: Family is the most important influence on our lives. There, I've said it. What? No applause at this significant insight? Oh, I get it, you already knew that so I guess it's no big revelation for you. Well, forgive me for being so slow on the uptake but I must admit that, while I've always known this fact, it sometimes eludes the space between my ears.

How important is family in shaping our values and responses to life? Just read some of the statements in response to my post asking the question "what do you wish you'd known back then that you know now, that could have saved you a lot of pain and heartache?"

• My mother used to say "define your boundaries early in any relationship, so you don't have the uphill task of re-defining them."
• I am not my husband's (or anyone else's) Holy Spirit. Stop trying to be.
• My grandmother also told me not to focus on acquiring material things because we didn't bring anything with us (into this life) and certainly won't be taking anything with us when we leave.
• One of the most painful times I experienced was after my marriage relationship ended... and sometime after, I moved, and I was alone (not lonely) and God was able to really heal my heart and make me more confident.
• Learn to love your family as they are instead of wasting time wishing they were different.

Notice how this sampling of responses all have to do with one family relationship or another? There you have it. It's scientifically proven after this survey, that family ranks high on the list of things that influence our lives. With that being said, today I'm posting a photo of my family that was taken after church last Sunday. Why am I not in it? Who do you think took the picture? At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Lagimo!!!

It's been quite the week for "thought-full" posts that encouraged us to look a little deeper at some passages of the Bible, and how they relate to our lives and circumstances. In case you were thinking today was going to be a repeat performance... think again! I just got back from my 20-mile (15 today) ride and I'm too exhausted to even engage my brain in heavy thinking, so I figured I'd give you some light-hearted, easy reading for the weekend.

I wanted to give you an update on my visit to the doctor earlier this week. It's official... I have the heart of an ox! The staff at my doctors office kept coming to check me out (under the guise of needing to check on something), compounding my anxiety that something might be wrong. Finally the Doc. came in and informed me that my BP (blood pressure, to the uninitiated) was 104 over 70 and that my pulse was so low, he wondered if I was a professional athlete. All the other "unmentionable" and "humiliating" tests were all good. So, what's the problem with being unable to ride 20-miles if my heart is so strong, you ask? Well, let's just say in the last couple of months my wife has been cooking my favorite meals, and I haven't lost my appetite!!

Speaking about professional athlete, my son's recruiting is going really well also. Today's photo, courtesy of Rivals.com, is a recent one taken at the Nike Camp at UF in Gainesville, FL. He currently has offers from almost ten schools (he has a couple of verbal offers for which he hasn't yet received the official letters), and during his spring season practices, he has had visits from coaches from schools like LSU, Alabama, Florida, Florida State, Kansas and a number of other D-1 programs. He is relishing the attention and we are constantly reminding him that it is purely God's grace and favor, and if he starts getting "too big for his britches" he might find himself on the wrong side of God's favor (God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble). Or, to paint a picture for all you Nigerian readers out there in blogland, in the inimitable words of Rooftop MC's song, God might "Lagimo" :) Have a great weekend.

I'll give you the moon

George Bailey, in It's a wonderful life promised the moon to his sweetheart as he professed his undying love. My wife is currently in Nigeria making preparations for her mother's funeral. It's been a whirlwind week of activities since we first learned of her passing away on Saturday April 22, 2008. A few nights ago, I stood outside my house quietly contemplating all that I need to do in preparation for my trip to Nigeria on Tuesday next week. Then I noticed the bright, full moon in the sky. It made me realize how small we really are in the grand scheme of creation. As I contemplated the moon I was awestruck at the fact that God, having created such amazing wonders would consider us the greatest work of His creative process. In that moment, I felt grateful to be alive and to realize that I'm a truly blessed man.

It occurred to me that moments of such great epiphanies are few and far between (at least in my life) and so I wanted to "build a monument" to the memory of that moment (kind of like saving a piece of the Berlin Wall). By the way I have a dear friend who actually has a piece of the Berlin Wall... I'm sorry, I digress. Back to my moment of epiphany... I wanted to capture the moment and couldn't think of a better way than to try and grab the moon and save it as a gift for my wife. The beauty of the moment was completely spoiled by having a digital camera with a ridiculously low zoom capacity, and so all you get is this picture that looks as if I'm trying to take a speck off a black cloth. You're just going to have to believe me when I tell you that it really is a picture of me reaching for the moon.

I hope your weekend is not as frenzied as mine is shaping up to be. Whatever the case, have a great weekend and I'll see you next week.

Horton hears a Who???

On Saturday my family and I went to see the movie Horton hears a Who! I went simply because I really enjoy spending time with my wife and kids. Every time we plan these family movie days, at the back of my mind I typically think "this is going to be another one of those long drawn out kids cartoons." You see, I'm somewhat partial to the mindless, adrenaline pumping action movies that make you want to hit someone as you leave the theater (oops, did I say that?). I loved Horton! I liked it even better than Ratatouille, and that's saying a lot since I'm a gourmet food lover (hence my passion for road biking).

My favorite parts of the movie were the myriad spiritual lessons unwittingly embedded in the story. Horton on the one hand represents the Christian who is called to make a significant difference that will change lives. He is villified, ridiculed and laughed at for believing in a "fantasy" yet he doggedly ploughs on knowing that he has an assignment that can be carried out by no one else. Then there's the Who. Who are they (pun intended)? Well they are a group of people whose very survival is dependent completely on a being that they can't see and don't believe exists. Like our world, they are myopic and arrogant enough to think that life begins and ends with them. Unknown to them though, they are about to face a rude awakening. There is a plot to "boil" their little world in a pot of hot oil, yet they don't even believe that there is a world beyond theirs.

I know that there are lessons along the way in everyday life, but sometimes I am pleasantly surprised when even Hollywood delivers those lessons most succinctly. Horton, in his completely selfless sacrifice to ensure that the Who don't become extinct, is willing to pay the ultimate price of estrangement from his community and potentially death. Hmmm I think that's a familiar story line, except that the original story has far greater stakes than a fictional town on a flower getting fried in hot oil. So, I know Horton hears a Who! But the question really is, Who do you hear?

What's in your wallet?

I have 3 daughters... well sort of ! Now before those of you who know me personally go off half-cocked, wondering if I've been messing around on my wife, let me explain. I have two biological daughters whom I love dearly. They teach me so much about a father's love. Sometimes I wonder if there's enough room in my heart to contain the overwhelming affection I have for my girls. Recently though, I've been really inspired to love another "daughter." I have always had a passion for Rwanda. A few years ago I watched Hotel Rwanda and it left an indelible imprint on my soul. Then I watched the HBO special Sometimes in April. I wept for days. I couldn't eat or barely even sleep for 3 days. I was gutted by what I'd discovered about the genocide that threatened to wipe out a whole nation.

Then I reconnected with a young pastor that I'd met while I was in Uganda who happened to be, yes you guessed it, Rwandan. He shared with me about so much that was going on in the country and about how his generation had inadvertently become the "elders" and leaders of that society because the genocide had wiped out the majority of his father's generation, and those that were left were maimed or incapacitated in one way or another. Elders? This young pastor was in his late twenties! My burden further increased and I determined that The Well would one day make a trip to Rwanda and invest in any and every way that we could in the lives of those precious people. We have yet to make that trip though all the planning and preparation are at an advanced stage.

So a few months ago I took a small first step in the direction of Rwanda. I adopted a young 12-year old girl through Compassion International. I specifically chose her because I wanted a child that was about the same age as my youngest daughter (who is 11) so that I would be mindful of the different stages of life she is walking through. Her name is Jeannette and she is the most delightful little girl you could ever hope to set eyes on. She lost her father during the Rwandan civil war and is now being raised by her mother and her grandmother. Why am I sharing this? Because my life has been impacted by this young lady as I pray for her and play a small role in ensuring that her future is filled with hope. I have no doubt that your life would benefit significantly from investing in the life of someone else. It costs $32.00 a month ($1.00 a day) to support a child through Compassion. So I ask you... what's in your wallet?Sponsor a child here.

football + hardwork= pastoring!?

My son, a few of his team mates and I, drove to Tampa this past Saturday. It was "Junior Day" at the University of South Florida (USF) and he had been officially invited to attend. He is actively being recruited by them, along with numerous other D-1 college football programs. These are heady days for him as he begins to enjoy the fruit of much of the unseen, and generally unrewarded and intense labor he has put into training to become a prime athlete. They are heady days for me as well! Not purely for the reasons you might think, though I am as proud as a pea (artistic alliteration license) to see my son accomplishing his dreams and desires, but more because of the lessons in church planting that I am learning from watching him.

Like working to earn a D-1 football scholarship, pastoring a church is hard work! Much of it is done in obscurity and what is seen by others is open to criticism and judgment even by people who don't know you, or for that matter, know anything about what they're criticizing. The rewards though, are literally and figuratively "out of this world." Nothing gets my adrenalin pumping quite like seeing someones life tangibly changed by an encounter with Jesus, knowing that I, in some small way played a part in that. But, like football, the work has only just begun. In football, a scholarship doesn't earn you the right to rest on your laurels, but in fact really begins the process of football becoming "your job." A full-ride scholarship is tantamount to being paid a salary for going to school and in return you work your b*** off to ensure that you justify your "pay" whether you feel like it or not.

As a pastor, introducing people to Jesus is only the first step in the life-long process of coaching people to live life according to the dictates of the Scriptures. Even on your worst days, you can't "take the day off." I really enjoyed meeting the head coach and his coaching staff. They looked like they were having more fun than should be legally allowable, and they genuinely seemed to love what they do. I imagine being recruited by people like that must be a really good feeling. It sort of reminds me that I am privileged to serve the greatest Life-Coach of them all, as part of a team that touches the lives of the people that are nearest and dearest to His heart. So in the rugged, sometimes hectic days of pastoring, I remember my son and the price of accomplishing his dreams, and I'm quickly reminded as to why I do what I do. It's a real privilege to serve at The Well! What new lesson are you learning in your journey?

A - is how we roll!

I've been reconnecting with quite a few 'old' friends lately (thank you facebook) and the thing I've enjoyed most is listening to the stories as I catch up with everybody's lives. There appears to be a prevalent theme of refining that God is doing in each person's life. I guess what we call refining is really the reality of "waking up" to real life and to the fact that there are certain things that God will no longer allow us to get away with. In my estimation, this is the process of maturing that must be evident in the life of everyone who professes to be a Christ-follower.

In light of these discussions, I've been doing a lot of processing myself. What is value to me? What are the things that would rank as my greatest accomplishments? I must tell you that the answers I'm coming up with surprise even me! Nothing that I've done in ministry, secular vocation, athletically, or anything else for that matter, ranks remotely close to watching the impact of a relationship with Jesus, in the lives of my kids. The amazing thing about this is that, while I have been largely responsible for many of the things that I've accomplished in my life, through hard work, prayer and moment by moment decisions that could have taken me one way or another, My greatest accomplishments have really little to do with my abilities. Allow me to foolishly brag for a moment, but I really do have the greatest kids in the world. They are my greatest accomplishment!

I've told you all about my son in a few posts that have highlighted his athletic prowess and his drive to be a successful and godly young man. You have, however, never met either of my daughters. Today I'll introduce you to Temi. She's my youngest (she's 11) and most like my wife in personality. She's a stickler for the rules (she doesn't do well without guidelines and boundaries) and is amazingly well adjusted for having a dad like me. Temi has been on the A-honor roll for as long as there has been an A-honor roll. She ran for student council within 3 weeks of starting a new school and came 2nd in the voting! She is also on the safety patrol at school, which is the highest honor given to 5th graders as the faculty decide who gets to serve in that capacity, based on a number of factors. As if all that isn't enough, she's super athletic, musically gifted and incredibly fashionably aware for an 11 year old. I'm immensely proud of how my kids are turning out, and those who know me well attribute it all to God and my wife Sola. Have a great weekend!!!

Sparkling SPARQ's!!!

I’m all verklamped! I know it looks like you’ve seen this post before, but look a little closer. See that SPARQ rating? My son Demi’s Miami-Nike Combine SPARQ rating was 91.4. That was pretty impressive. He’s already getting a ton of interest from D-1 college coaches inquiring about him. The unbelievable SPARQ rating on this card was from the just concluded Orlando Nike Combine at which there were close to 2000 participants. It was the third highest rating of the entire combine (regardless of position) and is the eighth highest rating nationally from all six Nike Combines held so far. Why is this important enough for me to be bragging about you ask, and why does it warrant a blog post? Duh, well aside from the fact that I am immensely proud of my son, I guess the short answer is that there are leadership lessons all around us. Two weeks ago, after the Miami Combine, I was so excited for my son, and the options he had made available to himself by performing so well. He was the top rated defensive lineman at the Combine, and so I suggested that he forego the Orlando Combine and hang onto the great rating he had just attained.

His reply was an emphatic No! He felt that resting on his laurels was the worst thing he could do, especially because he had set very specific personal goals. His competition, he carefully informed me, wasn’t the other athletes around him, his competition was the personal goals he had set for himself. Because I am this amazingly brilliant, godly, faith-filled and encouraging dad, I reminded him of the potential to do worse at the Orlando Combine, thereby tainting his rating from the superb 91.4 that so many would kill to get. He simply shrugged his shoulders and assured me that that was a chance he was willing to take in order to improve his rating. This past weekend he taught me a valuable lesson in leadership:

You can settle for what you’ve accomplished so far and be quite content that you’ve been reasonably successful, or you can risk it all and take the plunge to go deeper, further, higher and better. There are no guarantees except the guarantee that you will always know that you didn’t settle and you gave it all you had. I’ve always told my son to “Leave it all out on the field.” In other words, don’t come back to me after the game is over and tell me all the things you could have done better. Just Do It! (Sorry Nike, you don’t have exclusive rights to the use of the English language) This past weekend my son returned the favor and placed the lesson squarely in front of my face. The student became the teacher. Demi reminded me that if I must lead effectively, I cannot afford to rest on the accomplishments I’ve already achieved. What did you learn this past weekend?

Would you lak a piece of choclit?

It's Valentine's Day today! I'm still trying to figure out what the heck that means!! Who is or was Mr (or Mrs. Valentine)? Why do we have to have a day to honor him or her? What exactly does the day represent anyway? And: Why is chocolate candy the preferred gift of choice? I suspect this is a vast (right wing? since everything is blamed on them why not this as well?)conspiracy between Hallmark and the stores, to create yet another reason to go "hog wild" on vacuous spending for no good reason. I love my wife, don't get me wrong, but for me, everyday is "Valentines" day because of the joy she brings to my life. I just can't relate to the idea of giving her a gift only because Mr (or Mrs Valentine) suggest it's the right day to do so.

So let it be noted that I am a conscientious objector to splurging on cards and chocolates that will both serve little useful purpose. The cards should hit the trash in time for Friday's pickup, while the chocolates will simply undo all the hard work that you've done working out to maintain your 'youthful' athletic figure (at least when you suck your gut in). Having said all that. I am certainly no fool, so I have purchased (at a reasonable cost) the requisite box of chocolates and a nice Hallmark card (I will be sending them a 1099 at the end of the year). I heard an ad in which a guy was rejoicing that his wife had said she didn't want anything for Valentine's Day. A helpful bystander casually informed him that, in actual fact, what that meant was that she didn't want anything really expensive or elaborate and not nothing at all!

So here's to the proverbial box of chocolates and here's to my beautiful bride, Sola. Happy Valentine's day to all of you in blogland.

SPARQ's flying!

We were in Miami this past weekend because my son was attending the NIKE football combine. It's pretty much a testosterone meat market for aspiring college athletes. They measure you, weigh you, test your strength, test your athletic prowess: speed, power, agility, reaction and quickness (SPARQ), and at the end of it all they give you a grade that measures where you are, relative to the competition. The NIKE combine is seen as somewhat of an indicator as to whether or not you should continue to pursue a D1 athletic scholarship or focus completely on figuring out ways to pay off your student loans when you're done with college.

The top ranked guy at the combine scored a SPARQ rating of 116. Now let's not get technical and start a discussion about what goes into how they tabulate the score. For the purposes of our discussion today let's just say a 116 rating is... well, quite frankly, unbelievable! Pretty much every D1 school would be lining up to sign an athlete like that to their program. There were people who scored in the 20's on their SPARQ rating and the lowest score was actually a 12.7. If you're currently a junior in high school and you score less than a 68 on your rating, you should probably consider pursuing things other than athletics. I was thrilled to find out that my son scored a 91.4 on his rating. He was the top ranked defensive lineman at the combine and twenty-first ranked over all player (more than a thousand participated). At 6' 3" and 235 pounds, he has aspirations to get a D1 football scholarship to pay his way through college.

I can't tell you how proud I am as a father to see my son working so hard to accomplish his dreams. It is every fathers dream that his son will be better than him. I dare say that, with his commitment to his faith, his excellent academic work ethic, and his unimpeded athletic drive to become better each day, my son is well on his way to fulfilling my dream while fulfilling his.

My Hero

The allure of full-time Christian Ministry can be at once heady and intoxicating, while being difficult and lonely. Speaking in front of vast numbers of people, constantly being celebrated by those who have benefited from your ministry, having people share some of their deepest, darkest secrets with you, while others seek your counsel on some of the most significant decisions they will ever make in their lives; depending on who you have around you, all of this can be extremely satisfying or extremely draining. With all of this and more happening consistently in Christian ministry, it is no wonder that some pastors and Christian leaders begin to lose sight of their primary purpose. They forget that it is not about them but all about Jesus. It is much less about great preaching, leading and building, as it is about strengthening your personal walk with God. You can only give out what is in you! The less time you spend building your own personal relationship with the Lord, the less you have to give to others.

Pastoring a church of thousands of people, no doubt comes with it's attendant stresses and pressures. "How do you know?", I hear you ask, "since your church isn't a thousand people strong." I guess my response to that would be simply to state that, you don't have to stick your finger into the power outlet to know that electricity can kill. I have been around large ministries and well known ministers long enough to know that it is a lonely and treacherous road to walk. I have recently lost two dear friends from full-time ministry because the perils of the journey became all too real and they found themselves in compromised positions that required that they give up their mandate to lead others (at least as Lead Pastors).

How do Pastors avoid the potential pit falls that attend the calling to full-time ministry? I suggest that it is only by remaining firmly planted in reality. You are not as great as people say or think you are. The real key to determining how successful you are at staying rooted in reality is to take the pulse of your family. Too many men have built large and "successful" ministries at the expense of shipwrecking their homes. Their children abhor ministry or anything that smells remotely of church simply because they resent the way it has negatively impacted their family. Their wives are unwittingly abandoned along the way, victims of their husbands "success." I heard a well known (and well loved) Christian leader once say, "You can tell a man's success by looking into his wife's eyes." I imagine that the stories that many pastor's wives eyes would tell would be stories of broken promises, hurting marriages, and potentially devastated homes. This is not a stretch as I am personally acquainted with families like this.

How do I do it? I listen to my wife. I trust her implicitly because she is my best friend, my most ardent fan, and my biggest and most vocal critic. She has earned all of those places in my life. She once told a group of ladies sitting at a table with her, raving about how great a speaker I was and how lucky she was to have me, that she knows just how human I am because she sees me "put my pants on one leg at a time just like everyone else." Confronted by that reality, I am quickly reminded of my flaws and my fallibility. I am learning that when the church doors close, and the incredible music is silenced until the next gathering, my family are the only ones committed to standing by me regardless of how well I preach, lead, or build. This is where I draw my strength. this is what motivates me to want to be godly. This is why I do what I do. To live as an example before my family.

My now sixteen year old, sophomore-in-high-school son, was asked to write a paper in the fifth grade about who his hero was. Below is what he wrote (not a word or punctuation is changed from the original hand written paper).

"Who is my hero? I bet you would think it is someone famous like Martin Luther King Jr., or maybe even Ghandi. But really, my Dad is enough of a hero to me. My Dad is loving and caring with a super strong soul. He is the kind of person you can always look up to. A hero like my Dad doesn't care for just some people. He remembers those who are in orphanages and some who don't have homes or poor people. Now you know that a hero doesn't have to be famous. But someone who loves you, just like a Dad."

When it's all said and done, the real measure of success is what you did with your personal relationship with Jesus, and how you impacted the family that God so lovingly entrusted to your care. Personally, great ministry comes out of great times with my wife and kids.

Grey Beards

I'm amazed at how much grey there is in my beard. It seems like it was just yesterday that I was getting married, with my whole life stretched out before me (It'll be nineteen years this December). Now I have three kids (one of them taller than me and a year and a half away from being done with High School). Where on earth did the time go? Having said that, I really do love the grey in my beard. It speaks of life lived, lessons learned along the way, and hopefully wisdom gained from the journey. How's your beard? What does it say about you? (If you're female it says you really need to make an appointment with a specialist). Seriously though, remember to enjoy the journey, because all to often we miss it because we are focused on the destination, while the real lessons are learned from the journey. I really liked being twenty-something, absolutely enjoyed being thirty-something, but I'm really loving being forty-something and getting to do what it is I love the most: Introducing people to Jesus at "The Well" so that they may have an encounter with Him that changes their lives and sets them on the course to their destiny. By the way, the grey in my beard makes it easier for me to do what I do since people for some weird reason equate grey beards with wisdom. Oh well, ce la vie eh!