Wednesday, December 12, 2007

The Butterfly Effect

You're probably thinking that it's been a couple of days of some pretty heavy posts. I can't help it. I am truly overwhelmed at the depravity of what is going on in our world. I am equally aware though, that life is made up of hills and valleys, peaks and troughs, entrances and exits and all the other 'beginning and end' cliches you can think of. So I am dealing with my sadness at the irrationality of humanity, in my own way, and praying that as I am circumspectly gaining understanding, I am truly becoming a better person.

As we experience life, change is inevitable. Our paradigms shift, our values are tested, our philosophies and ideologies are challenged. And we, inevitably begin to change. Sometimes we are more tentative and less adventurous. Other times we second guess our calling and effectiveness. And at the worst of times, we want to throw our hands in the air and give up. But life doesn't permit such indulgences. You can't just stop living; unless you're dead. Since I'm obviously not dead, then I must live, and change. I must become the man that God designed for me to be. Part of the price I pay in becoming that man, is that I am more compassionate and feel the pain of others more deeply. So I am greiving for the Works family that lost two daughters on Sunday, having just celebrated the love of God together in a church service. I grieve for the families of the two YWAMmers that were also killed on Sunday. I grieve for the family of the tormented young man who took their lives.

With all of this metamorphosis going on in me, I really relate to the butterfly. Larva (nasty and ugly looking), pupa (not much use for anything and almost as ugly); butterfly (an amazing kaleidoscope of color, beauty, and flight). This is what my life looks like. I am constantly evolving (not in the way Darwin's theory would suggest), and some of the stages of my evolution are not pretty. But with each successive stage, I am becoming more and more like God designed for me to become. I pray you are changing too. We must all change. That is the inevitability of living. That is the butterfly effect.


Hope Clark said...

"Whoever said anybody has a right to give up?" ~Marian Wright Edelman

Joseph said...

Hear, hear Hope!!! Giving up is not an option.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I had been thinking that, however it's certainly understandable, knowing your relationship with New Life Church. And how heavy this must be on your heart. Know that God is pleased with the changes in you and that you truly are becoming a better person because of these experiences and the knowledge, insight & wisdom that you gain will continue to make you that much better. You will probably never truly know how much these writings of yours do effect and change people's lives. And just remember this, "It's a Wonderful LIfe".

Ms Harkins said...

I hope I am becoming a better person. Sometimes I am sure I am, many others I think I am failing. One thing is for sure... there is never a thought of giving up for me. Not even during those tough moments life can bring!

Joseph said...


Your kind words are a soothing balm to my heart during this season of change. Thank you.

Joseph said...

Ms. Harkins,

That is definetely my position also. No matter how hard the road we're traveling becomes, giving up is not one of the available options.