"Hello! Thanks for calling, please choose option one to die of worry, option two if you'd like Satan to lend a hand, and option 3 if..."
And if worries and the church don't do the job, let's just hand it over to the professionals shall we?! Let's just let Satan's Kingdom do the job, afterall, they've been in the business for a few thousand years already. Hmmm, now that I think about it, I wonder if Church of The Cross actually did mean that sign literally. To watch some churches, it wouldn't take much convincing to believe that they actually are in the 'people killing' business. Have a frivolous weekend.